3 Keys to Successful Transitions
Language, practice and predictable expectations, and transition items are key ingredients for every successful transition.
Language
Yelling, threatening, and elevated emotions can destroy any potential for a successful transition. Yet, these are often the ingredients that accompany transitions. As adults, when we are ready to go, we often resort to yelling and threatening to “light a fire” to get everyone out the door. Unfortunately, this usually doesn’t work very well, is stressful, and ultimately children don’t learn how to successfully transition without an adult meltdown. So first and foremost, do not emote. Make sure there is enough left in your emotional energy tank to keep your emotions in check for the transition. You should be able to transition yourself and your children out of most situations without raising your voice. True story.
If you have been a yeller in the past, there will be a need for some retraining. Your children may be accustomed to you yelling and may not register your regular voice when it is time to go. That is why practice is so very important.
Practice and Predictable Expectations
You must practice transitions at home when the actual demand of leaving is absent. One afternoon, have a family meeting and talk about the goal of successfully transitioning to/from activities and events.
Discuss
how you will notify everyone (in a regular voice, maybe using a special family word),
how they should spend those last 5 minutes (stopping the activity, cleaning up, rounding up their belongs, putting on their shoes),
what you will be doing in those last 5 minutes (providing any support they need for a successful transition, being available to them, keeping your cool),
different ways to find a stopping point in different activities (video games, board games, outdoor activities)
the use of transition items (see below).
Then practice the 5-minute transition. Use a timer to help with time awareness. After the trial run, meet up and discuss what went well and what needs to be adjusted. Your family might decide they need 7 minutes or 4 minutes might work better. Practice until you have developed and designed an effective transition plan for your family. The more your child contributes to the process, the more bought in they will be, the more successful the transition.
Once you have determined and practiced your family transition plan, it is vital that you be the first person to stick to the plan. There can’t be any “quick” adult conversations that turn into 20 minutes of your child waiting on you to finish. Stick to the plan, be ready to help your child carry out the plan, and problem solve through any challenges.
Transition Items
This could quite possibly be the best-kept secret for successful transitions. Providing your child with an item to hold throughout the transition is a success multiplier. You might keep a new pack of gum in your purse, or a small toy, or a snack. It can be anything that keeps your child’s interest. During OT sessions, I will often say, “Get your shoes on, stand by the door, then you can select your favorite piece of gum to take with you.” I then open the door, let them select their gum, and send them on their way. Some kids like a bean bag, a balloon, or a squishy ball. The transition item can be something predictable or something new. Some children like to have their special blanket for a transition, other kids like something new/different to keep their attention through the transition. The item is the final step of the transition. The item is not a reward or prize, rather something that helps them transition well. This needs to be accurately communicated to your child in advance. It is not something they earn, it is a tool to help them transition.
Transitioning is a learned skill.
Transitions are something that we are all working to master. Celebrate the successful ones, and work together to get better after the hard ones.
It is important to make sure you are being a good role model for successful and easy transitions.
There are many components to successful transitions. These three tips may just be the key to your family’s transition success!